The step before the jump is the hardest....

I have very little what this is honestly about. I've been thinking about graduation and all that jazz, and it just got me down. Like I know I'm not going to turn out like my parents, siblings, or any part of my extended family(in a bad way I mean), but it still gets me thinking. I have my plan, and though it may not be as extravagant as I'd like it to be, or as some of my friends' plans are, it works for me and that's all that will ever matter. I've found a way for me to become something that I WILL excel at, and I'm so glad for that. With three steps, two years apiece, I'm going to become something far better than anybody would have ever expected. There are places I want to go, and I plan on seeing them. I know everybody dreams when they're young, and most people don't ever accomplish those dreams, but I know I can. Three of the main things I want to do are; travel to Ireland, travel to Germany and I want to see something that completely changes my perspective as to how I compare amonst the other like 6.5 billion souls in this world. I've told only one person that before, and I'm not quite sure why, but now whoever happens to stumble across this will know.

Idk. I know my steps and that's all that matters. But I am honestly more scared than I've ever been in my entire life, and I've had some uncertain times. I really don't want to lose touch with everyone, that part is going to change me a lot, I already know it. I don't think I'll be able to be quite as fun-loving a person as I am now. The main thing that I'm hating at the moment is the fact that as I get closer to people that I actually trust and would love to know for years and years, we're already preparing to go our seperate ways. It really sucks. There are good aspects I suppose. Like, for what I want to do I can't be tied to any one place for too long. If I do this the way I plan, I'll be ready to start my life at 24, and if I get all those things done, or at least some so that I have something to look forward to, I should be good by 26. Still young and ready to go.

I don't plan on doing the same thing everybody else does and just you know, go to college for 2-4 years and then settle in. It's HVCC for two years, transfer to a four year school for the last two too get my degree in political science, possibly serve two years in the military, which would fill more than one gap that I need to fill, and then taking all the money I have and taking off for Europe. I'm going to see what I have enough for, then coming back to the states to start my career in politics. Yeah, I'll be starting a little late, which is going to leave me retiring late, but I would gladly work a few more years rather than go through all those years without the feeling of accomplishment that's going to come with what I want to do.

I'm planning on living a life with no regrets. And I don't care how far off it is, I'm raising my kids the same way. Dream big, dream vividly, and then live those dreams. : )